Don't bother reading if you cant stand small typings and block text make your head spin. ` Bullshit. That's all that comes to mind. The intermittent ramblings of an indecisive heart. When you think of something negative, it's bound to happen. Hello holidays. I'm thankful for these two weeks. I don't have to face the world except for selected days. Whatever that happened, I blame it entirely on myself and my selfish reasons. Blame me, not the world. Damn. Now how am I supposed to focus on other stuff like FM which lands me on this Thursday 9.15am at cheers. Oh well. Screw me over once more. It's never rainbows and butterflies. I used to believe it was compromise but look where that got me and how everything turned out. Sure, we look fine on the outside. But who knows the inner turmoil better then you do? A bout of good England landed me. But I have no mood for poetic prose and shit. When the world brings you down to your knees, all you want to do is curl up and cry it all out. But what happens when you can't and you're expected to put up a strong front and act normal because everyone thinks that way? I sure feel.. Empty like a goddamn puppet where you just play with the strings to make me move a certain way or those ventriloquist dummies where they just get a hand up their empty shell of a doll and people move their mouths for them. I am fully aware that I might not be making sense but my jumbled thoughts are disallowing me to arrange myself in a coherent and comprehensible manner of typing so I'm throwing away the rules of writing a proper reflection or whatever that consists of an introduction, body and conclusion. Like I said, intermittent ramblings of the mind. Let me erase the hurt and pain and hopefully, I'll go back to being that shadow of a faker that people see most of the time anyway. Or I'll just bury myself in books and the song 'Your Call' by Secondhand Serenade. Besides the fact that I've been reading a good but depressing book and that I was actually feeling emo during SCT and nobody really noticed anything. See, I went out after he told me the news to go and collect my thoughts. I felt like I was about to cry anyway. But I didn't. I kept it bottled and came back looking fine and went back to being my bookworm self in primary and secondary school. It's as if I've gone back in time and instead of a school uniform, I'm in jeans and whatever, reading to mask my true feelings. I feel like shit anyway. ` -ifahchan
11:57 PM
Welcome!
♥ILY♥
This is my blog so Click here if you hate it.
It's Me
I F A H
There's nothing wrong with my name
I am my only witness and the only person who can judge my life
I have a wishlist located just below: Visit Japan again. Collect ALL Jelly Lens. Lose 5kg. Graduate DS or some form of random entertainment. open PIXELLATES up for business again. Dinner Date at Swensons. Get married.
