Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Only when you lose something, do you realize the value of it
Last weekend, I lost my hearing.
Mostly, I was alright. People treated me the same way, some forgetting that I'm temporarily deaf in my right ear. Not so different from the usual.
What was different?
When I realized how much we actually depend on our ears, to hear, to listen, to warn, to feel emotion, I felt ashamed. Ashamed of how all this time, I took my sense of hearing for granted. My sense of sight for granted. Touch, smell, talk. The smallest things in life that almost everyone takes for granted.
Having just one ear to listen to everything, it's not easy. I pretend like it doesn't bother me, but deep down, it hurts. Being different, even temporarily, even if people treat you the same way they always do.. There is always that small difference, being unable to really hear what people say, making them repeat themselves countless of times. I know that it gets irritating. I don't push my luck if I don't really hear things they say. I smile and nod, and make an assumption of what's being said from what little I hear.
I don't know if I will get my hearing back. I may or may not. But it's okay. I now appreciate what I have, or do not have. If I'm meant to be like this, it's going to be alright.
'I may be deaf in my right ear after this..'
'It doesn't change a thing, I'd love you still.'
Love makes you a strong, reliable person. I may not be able to predict the future, but right now, all I want is to be with you, someone who loves me for all my imperfections, just the way I am.
4:05 PM
